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MY
STORY
The Lord said to Hosea, a prophet, “Go take for
yourself a wife of harlotry” to represent the love God
had for His people. This pure prophet married Gomer, a sinful
prostitute. This story has always moved me by portraying
the extravagant love God has for those farthest from Him. Honestly,
I felt very much like Gomer when I gave my heart to Jesus.
I lost my purity at the age of twelve
and was pretty much on my own by the time I was fifteen. As
a teenager, I was deceived,
disillusioned and very lonely. And I was a seductress. I found
my identity in the relationships I had with men. By the time
I was seventeen, I dated married men, men twice my age, hustlers
and drug dealers, and needless to say, I found myself in very
broken places. Some of my lowest times were living downtown by
myself. I was into the New Age movement as well, so my apartment
was filled with idols of various religions I participated in.
I was searching for love, becoming more and more skeptical that
true love even existed. My heart longed for an “I’ll
love you forever” kind of love that never occurred in my
relationships.
When I was 18, the Lord saved me by a
radical encounter with His Holy Spirit. I felt His peace and
joy for the first time.
I was in my apartment with my roommate, Brion, who had just gotten
saved at a church called The Rock of Roseville. On my first trip
to The Rock, the message was titled “Alternative Sex Part
2,” and it was all about receiving healing from the world’s
perspective on sex and dating. The Lord knew exactly what I needed.
But what the Lord did after that was even more radical. He purified
my life, and I was excited to let Him do it. He got rid of many
things, including dating of any kind. He turned me from a seductress
into a virtuous woman of God. I so longed to be like the women
I saw at The Rock—clear eyed, pure and rooted in God.
I started going the The Rock of Roseville
in January of 2002, participating in the Rock Intern Program
that following September.
The Intern Program has been a solid family support for me as
God continues to root out lies from my past and conform me into
the beautiful bride He already saw inside of me. I’ve gone
through some dark seasons as a Christian, yet He continues to
show His faithfulness to me. It doesn’t have anything to
do with who I am or what I’ve done; it’s who He is.
By God’s mercy, I am living out the destiny He has for
me. I am a leader in the Rock Intern Program and participate
in The Roseville House of Prayer , but more than that, I have
experienced His love for me as a Husband loves a wife, knowing
that, like Gomer, even in my distress and shame, He chose me
and loved me with His whole being. And I know that in return,
I have also loved Him—in return, I have given Him my whole
life because this is my destiny.
I know that His love for you is just
as personal and intense and burns in His heart just as deep.
I pray that as the Lord
extends his invitation of intimacy with Him to you, even through
my testimony, that you would take it and never look back. Bless
You and thank You, Jesus, for Your life. You have given me everything
You had to give—thank You.
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